Personal Stories

Two Generations Needing Help and Being Grateful - Susie C.

I first met Bob in 1990 when he helped me and my family deal with my father's alcoholism. Because my father was functioning to a degree and getting things done, there was a lot of denial in our family that he needed help. But I only had to look in his eyes to know that death was just around the corner if we didn't do something. With Bob's help we staged an intervention. My father was willing to get help and has been sober now for over 17 years. At Bob's recommendation, I got help too by going to Al-Anon. There I learned that alcoholism is a family disease.

Three years ago when my son admitted to a drug problem and asked for help, the first thing we did was call Bob. Having him in our corner during those terrifying days, as we watched our son go through withdrawal from drugs, was such a comfort to us. Bob was able to recommend the right rehab program. Our eyes opened even further to the family disease of addiction when we attended family week at our son's rehab. Bob continued to check in with us and counsel us during the aftercare time.

There is a lot of gratitude all the way around in my family, that we met Bob, that we agreed to let go and receive the help offered, and that we are now a stronger, more open family as a result of our experiences. We are extremely grateful to Bob and appreciative of his efforts to be there for us when we really needed him.

From Codependency to Compassion - Anonymous

My family came to Inter-Care believing that my sister's drug addiction was the problem. We were a small, emotionally attached family and were suffering a lot with the violence, fear and anger that swirled around her. We all blamed her for our problems, in the sense that we believed if only she would get well (sober) we would all be fine. There was a general feeling of hopelessness and we were all pretty depressed.

After a few months of working with Bob, we family members began to recognize how much our behavior was enabling her addiction and how we were part of the circumstances that prompted her addiction. I began to see that addiction is a family disease and that if we want to change, each family member must become accountable for his or her part of the problem. For me, that has meant coming to terms with my codependency and making a commitment to personal growth, even if, right now, the rest of my family is unwilling or unable. I continue to hope that my sister will one day experience the joy of recovery. Until then, I will live my life. My concern for her today no longer comes from the guilt and fear of codependency, but from a place of compassion.

From Doubting Thomases to Believers - Anonymous

When our family decided to participate in an invitational intervention we had no idea what we were getting into. Before this, our son – married with two young children – had been in and out of rehab several times. But each time he came home he would eventually slip back into his old addictive habits. Then we spent two days with Bob and were introduced to the term “family disease.” We learned that addiction impacted all the members of the family and that we all needed to find our own road to recovery, which was a totally foreign notion to all of us.

After the second day, we left with our various assignments to help each of us get a better grasp on the illness and how we could combat it ourselves… and to learn that we had no direct ability to change the addict's behavior. Then things went from bad to worse for the addict, and he started to drink and use once again. But when he slipped this time, the family reacted in a very different way than we had before – we didn't try to cover it up, we didn't try to help, we didn't try to do anything but say: if you think you're in trouble, call Bob. That was his lifeline if he wanted to take it.

After a while, he did reach out for help. Then he ultimately decided to go away to a rehab center that was recommended – we were all surprised because the last we heard he was never going to go back to rehab. He's back home now and it seems like he's clean and sober – so it's another beginning, an important one for all of us.

Many of us entered into this process as doubting Thomases, but perhaps now are believers in the process. That doesn't mean the outcome will be what we would love, but it has had an enormous positive impact on our family. We learned a lot, he's on his journey and we're on ours, and we're all better in October as a result of the intervention than we were in May.

17 Years of Gratitude - Paul T.

Every year for 17 years I call Vince on my sobriety anniversary to thank him for what he did. When I woke up that morning 17 years ago and my whole family was in the room with Vince to tell me that I had a problem with alcohol, I was not yet ready to admit it. But after the second or third day in rehab when the light bulb went off and I realized that I had a problem, my whole outlook changed and my recovery began. So now I call him every year to remind both of us, and we've become good friends. Vince is a calm, understanding and experienced individual, who knows of what he speaks. I trust him implicitly and will be forever grateful to him.

From Emotional Lockdown to Openness - Susan R.

Four years ago I called my younger brother, my mother and my father in a blackout and told them I thought I was an alcoholic. Two weeks later my brother called and asked if I'd be willing to do a family intervention therapy and I agreed. My first reaction was relief mixed with terror. My parents hadn't been in much communication for about 14 years, but they agreed, along with my sister and brother, to participate. The fact that they were all willing to do this was huge for me.

We spent two days with Vince; one of the most important things that happened was Vince telling us his story. He made me feel safe, more comfortable and less ashamed. On the second day my family talked about our experiences of each other… we all sat quietly and listened; that was the first time ever that we spoke so frankly to each other about emotional issues. That day, my father cried – it was the first time I saw that – and my mother exposed herself emotionally… it was a raw and vulnerable experience, but it felt safer than it ever had in my family because Vince was able to contain it. His ability to listen, to reframe, and to contain us was incredibly remarkable.

Afterwards, we all contracted to be more in touch with each other and I agreed to go into outpatient treatment. The fallout from the intervention experience: my relationship with my father changed entirely; my brother and my father had barely spoken for 3 or 4 years and they have a relationship now. Last year we spent Christmas together and we're all sharing Thanksgiving this year. It's been a rocky road, but my relationship with all my family members has improved. The family dynamic has shifted in a really beautiful way; it's certainly not perfect, but there is more openness and communication. And the best part is that there's tolerance for expressing what we're feeling without fear.


Professional References

Betty Ford Center / Mike Neatherton (President)

The Betty Ford Center has a long and mutually beneficial association with Vince Casolaro and Bob Smith.  The relationship with the Center has been on-going for 25 years, including intervention services as well as support for patients returning to the New York City area.  They have always demonstrated an unwavering commitment to and passion for all aspects of addiction and recovery.  I am excited to see their skills surface in a new arena as "Together" is launched; I am certain it will reflect the professionalism of Vince and Bob as well as the message of hope they have so effectively shared over the years.

Caron Treatment Centers / Doug Tieman (President / CEO)

I’ve had the pleasure of working with Vincent Casolaro and Bob Smith for over two decades. During that time I have had positive experiences working with them in a wide array of situations. Their experience as employee assistance professionals, owners and operators of an outpatient addiction treatment program, clinicians, and their extensive experience as interventionists, provides them with a well-rounded background in addressing issues related to addiction, the family, and the recovery field. Based on the success they have had in all of their past endeavors, I anticipate a similar outcome for their new endeavor,, a monthly newspaper and website focused on recovery. I am anxious to see this new service being brought to our industry to fill an important information gap.

Marworth / James J. Dougherty (Vice President / CEO)

I have known Bob Smith and Vince Casolaro for more than 20 years as professionals dedicated to working with addicted individuals and family members. Both Bob and Vince each have 35 years experience in the addiction field, encompassing employee assistance program (EAP) services, the operation of a successful outpatient/intensive outpatient treatment program in New York City, as well as extensive experience with corporate and family interventions both nationally and internationally.

In my capacity as the CEO of an inpatient treatment program, I have been very impressed with their commitment to quality and high ethical standards. Their innovative approach to working with families is noteworthy and sets them apart from others.

I support Bob and Vince in their new endeavor and would fully expect the same level of quality and ethical standards which has been the hallmark of their careers.

Promises Treatment Centers and Elements Behavioral Health / Keith P. Arnold
(Vice President of Operations)

I have been working with Vince Casolaro and Robert Smith for over 15 years. In our history together they have helped many families and loved ones break free from the bonds of addiction and the layers of dysfunction that surround these situations. Whether they are conducting a family intervention, managing the health and financial aspects of a client's affairs, delivering therapeutic services or consulting to organizations around the world, they are always committed to doing the right thing for their clients. Both Vincent and Robert have high integrity and the perseverance needed to battle the addictive process and behavioral health issues. They are experts in this field and recognized highly by the country's leading treatment centers. Their recovery work extends far and wide, reaching from prestigious Fortune 1000 companies to families living on the street. You will not find a more compassionate, hardworking, caring, experienced team.

Walter F. Scanlon (PhD, MCA, DAPA, CASAC)

Recovery doesn't just happen—people make it happen! Find a person in recovery and you'll usually find a family in recovery. That's the objective that Vincent Casolaro and Robert Smith had in mind when they teamed up and started Inter-Care 20 years ago. They discovered that engaging the entire family in the intervention process provided results far beyond recovery for the “identified patient” alone. It also allowed the family to heal and join together in finding a balance that reinforced both recovery and continuing growth. Their Invitational Intervention Model, an intervention approach that focuses on identifying individual strengths and restoring family unity, has proved to be clinically successful. The family becomes part of the solution.

Having known Bob and Vincent for more than 25 years, it has been exciting for me to witness the results of their work. And having worked with them throughout these years, it is easy to see why they have had so much success. Their dedication, compassion and empathic involvement in the clinical process make each of them a perfect fit for the Invitational Intervention Model. Both Vincent and Bob are, indeed, skilled professionals. And while clinical work is serious business, their individual wit, levity, and personal skills cannot be overlooked when searching for the right interventionist.

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